Detachment


Definition: “the state of being objective or aloof” – dictionary.com

                        “freedom from bias or prejudice” – Merriam dictionary

 

I’ve always been one who always had a plan. I remember getting my first job at Starbucks during my Junior year in high school. I quit because I sparked interest towards hospitality, so I can get discounts for when I travel, I got the job. I was there for less than 2 years, then I realized how fascinated I was with the business world and the people behind it. So, I planned to get a business internship and I got a position at an aerospace company thinking I was the shit and that I found my career by 21. I planned and planned some more to take full control and keep that control in my life, but somehow I never felt satisfied. I was too attached.

 

I had all these amazing plans and pictured every outcome possible. The funny thing was, no matter how much I planned every little detail, I never got the exact results I envisioned. It either exceeded my expectations or they disappointed me because I was stubborn and chose not to see the blessings in what I was given, which were what I needed during those moments. And those very moments were when I was being taught all about detachment.

 

Detachment to me ties with acceptance and reverence. In different aspects of life, practicing detachment humbly reminds me that we own nothing and no one in this life. We brought nothing when we came here and we take nothing when we’re called home.

 In all my personal relationships, detachment looks something like having crystal clear and healthy boundaries without having any expectations from anyone. Whatever happens, happens. During times of conflict, allowing myself to detach from the situation helps me see all characters and factors at play from a vantage point. It keeps my focus on creating space for a solution rather than adding fuel to the fire. Whoever comes and if aligned is welcomed even if it’s just for a season. Whoever is meant to stay, will.

 In business, detachment looks something like designing a blueprint, intricate details, actions and chosen people each with an intention and purpose. To execute without trying to control everything (especially the outcomes) to the point that it drives me and everyone else crazy.

 In life, detachment looks and feels like peace. Serenity. To not take anything personal even if the harsh actions were done by our beloveds. Detaching even from my own beliefs and not being afraid of questioning and challenging them because I am allowed to change and grow. To know when to be present and when to let go.

 Detachment is to love everything and still be at peace when all is taken away.

Some questions to sit on about detachment:

 How are you practicing detachment?

What does it look like to you?

With love,

Char B.